Weigh in Wed

Have you ever struggled with weight loss? Have you dreamed of being fit and healthy? I have totally wished this as a teen I can remember praying that I would wake up beautiful and skinny. I felt this way because I was tormented by bully’s in school. I was tortured so badly that I actually stopped actually attending school. I tried being home schooled for a while and finally graduated from night school. I still think about that time in my life, I never told anyone about the bullies because I knew that would make it worse. I had boys that called me lethal weapon because I was a pretty big teen, I was about a 100 lbs. overweight at the age of 10.  The teasing was so bad that I actually hid in the bathroom until school was over. I developed a major anxiety disorder and due to the embarrassment, I felt that I was, I refused to try anything new when I was a kid for fear of the teasing so I locked myself up away from the rest of the world and hide, at one point I wished the world would disappear or that I would.

My mom meant well and tried to help me with losing weight but dragging me to all kinds of doctors, and weight loss classes, the cabbage soup diet, has anyone tried this diet? I tried this diet with my mom. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of knowing this diet (and I was being VERY sarcastic) the diet you could eat as much of this cabbage soup as you wanted for a week but nothing else. So, what do you eat for breakfast… Cabbage soup, What’s for lunch?... Cabbage soup, and dinner, you guessed it cabbage soup. This diet was horrible I didn’t lose any weight, Of course no surprise there! I actually gained weight! I was so sick of cabbage by the end of it and quite honestly, I wasn’t that big of a fan of cabbage in the first place. So, I didn’t stick to it very long.   We did the Richard Simmons “sweating to the oldies” (YES, I was a product of the 80’s and he was very popular back then). That didn’t work either. I got very discouraged and would quit.

I started dating and the boy that I thought loved me (he told me so and I believed him). Would tell me how much prettier I would be if I was skinny, and that he couldn’t believe that he was a “chubby Chaser” He brought his friends over to meet me and they would moo at me and make gagging noises and ask him how he could kiss me, and he instead of sticking up for me would say he kissed me with his eyes closed, and he would think of someone else. After they left and I would try to talk to him about how they treated me he would say oh they were just teasing, they didn’t mean anything by it. So of course, this did wonders to my self-esteem. I was very depressed. I was put on antidepressants due to finally having enough and mentioning to my mom I didn’t want to be alive anymore. I went through my senior year kind of in a daze, I felt numb. (I figure this was due to the antidepressants). I felt so lonely. When I looked into the mirror I literally saw nothing.

When I was in my 20’s I got a job in another city and since my mom and I shared a car sometimes I had to walk home. I began walking on a regular basis and started getting more energy, A unforeseen incident made it so I could move out of my mom’s house, I broke up with the first boyfriend and lived on my own for a year. I made some good friends at my job they attempted to boost my self-esteem and I met a guy though a cousin and started hanging out. We got married a year later. I felt empowered by my new husband, he would look at me and just stare, (by the way after 14 years he still does). I could see the love and respect for me in his eyes. And I am sure that if his friends even said one thing he didn’t think was right he would put them in their place. Of course, his friends are a good group of guys so I doubt they would have said anything.  My husband has been behind me and has loved me for me. I am still overweight and but its OK I am beginning to love me too.

I have more confidence than I ever thought I would, I am still going to eat right and exercise but not because I feel like I need to be seen in public but because I want to be around for a very long time so I can spend as much of it with my family as I can. If you ask anyone I work with they would be surprised to find out that I experienced any of this in my past, cause these days I am a confident woman, I am not shy I will tell you exactly how I feel and what I think. (My motto is I have an opinion about everything and I am not afraid to share it) It has taken me a long time to get comfortable in my own skin and to be OK with me and know that I am a deserving person. But it helps to have the right people around you people who love you and care about you. I still have issues with my body but I am working on them. I will never get to the point that I strut around naked, but at least now I can shower without being fully clothed.

I wanted to share this to try and help others out there that maybe struggling with an experience or experiences similar to mine, to know that it does get better, it may not seem like it but it does. I also wanted to extend a challenge to all those who want to participate and lose 25 pounds in 6 months so by Feb 1 2018. We will have lost 25 pounds. Of course, I am expecting everyone to do it the right way through healthy eating and exercise. I will post my progress every Wed in a short post. I am also doing this to keep myself accountable. Starting weight 260 pounds. I would like to be down 2 pounds in a week. I will check with an update next wed. (I want to lose weight by Feb for my vow renewal ceremony, more on that later) thanks for stopping by everyone. I hope you will all join me in this challenge. Leave a comment letting me know if you’re in with me. Together we can get healthy!! See you on Friday.